Forgive Your Ex or Nah?


I attended a funeral the other day of a church member. In fact, she was more than a member she was one of the mothers of the church. As I sat there I began to reflect on my life and what kind of legacy I will leave behind. Will it be one of joy or one of bitterness?  I also thought about things that I need to make right like should I forgive my dirt bag ex or nah?

 We’ve all had at least one of these right? You know, the one that damaged your spirit or left you to raise the children? Well, I want you to work towards forgiving them.

Healing starts when we forgive. There are too many single ladies still hurting from something that an ex did. We take this hurt into new relationships and then ruin that relationship because we’re so hurt.

Have you ever heard this saying? Hurt people, hurt people. Ponder that. Deep right?

It’s time to forgive because an unforgiving spirit will affect your physical health and can even cause death.

Remember, 2016 is the year of Pristine

Here are 4 ways to start the forgiveness process:

  1. Relinquish the need for get back.
    • Get back is a never ending cycle and you should not get caught up in it. It will eventually lead to regret.  
  2. Express your hurt.
    • Write down your feelings or verbally share with your ex your feelings. Make it clear that in no way are you trying to get them back. Writing or speaking your issues are a natural medicine.
  3. Don’t expect an apology.
    • It is not your duty to make them apologize. Sure, you may feel like they owe you one (and they may), but don’t ask for or demand one. Forgiving doesn’t require an apology.   
  4. Recognize their hurt.
    • Remember, what I said earlier? Hurt people, hurt people. Your ex was hurt in their past and they have not healed from that hurt.That’s why they treated you the way that they did. This is no excuse for what they did to you by any means. But note this: We tend to repeat the behavior that has impacted us whether negative or positive. So just remember that they were hurt too and there is no need to ask them about their past hurt.   

When you are able to forgive, you love yourself more. Love yourself enough to forgive and move on. You deserve it. 

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